同學(xué)們注意啦！僅需一本最后預(yù)測5套題即可享受最后一個月的免費(fèi)修改作文服務(wù)，

 同學(xué)們抓緊啦，時間有限！編輯部老師會優(yōu)先修改作文，郵箱zhangjfpolitic@sina.com，（附上最后預(yù)測5套題的序列號即可）。

戳世紀(jì)高教圖書專營店：

英語二最后預(yù)測5套題https://detail.tmall.com/item.htm?id=41945543032&spm=a310v.4.88.1

英語一最后預(yù)測5套題https://detail.tmall.com/item.htm?id=41594143452&spm=a310v.4.88.1

下面為同學(xué)們修改好的作文，同學(xué)抓緊在世紀(jì)高教圖書專營店購買最后預(yù)測5套題，修改作文啦！

存在的問題：在一些語法，句子結(jié)構(gòu)方面仍有欠缺，例如單復(fù)數(shù)的運(yùn)用，專用名詞的表達(dá)，例如社會主義接班人用英文怎么表達(dá)等，這一階段邏輯上的銜接是不錯的。總分20分，得13分。

老師麻煩您幫我改的時候可以用不同顏色可以嗎？真的很感謝您
——同學(xué)，我用“審閱”修改的，雖然字的顏色一樣，但標(biāo)識還是很清晰的。不用客氣啊?？佳屑佑停ighting！

In the above picture, one man is crossing a narrow bridge, namely seeking employment , who opens his arms to keep balance[with his arms open to keep balance(原定語從句距被修飾詞one man過遠(yuǎn))]. While the other, carries[carrying] a heavy basket filled with books , chooses to climbing[climb] the postgraduate entrance exam mountain[the mountain which represents the postgraduate entrance exam]，with a rope in his hand. This drawing depicts a thought-provoking phenomenon. University graduates, [are(原句缺少謂語，切記句子結(jié)構(gòu)要完整)]now with greater employment pressure and in face of a steeper social ladder.
Seemingly, the picture is aimed to warn us that students are under fierce competition and huge pressure though[換成but或置于句尾chosen life之后，并用逗號隔開], they should follow their interest and advance bravely along with their chosen life. However, a lot of graduates think poorly of themselves and despairs [despair]of being a qualified successor of the socialism[“合格的社會主義接班人”這樣的表述太中國特色了。。。建議換成“achieving success in the society或realizing their dreams”這樣較為輕松的表述。]. Understandably, University graduates, now without the glory of the intellectual elites, are facing an uncertain future and be[刪除，worried與facing功用謂語are] worried about facing[tackling（避免facing的重復(fù)使用）] all kinds of challenges. In fact, the opportunity and challenge can coexist.
Numerous examples can demonstrate it. For instance, despite[despite of（despite后接從句）] the fierce competition, students believing in themselves often excel in the postgraduate entrance exam. Another example is about Yuan zi wen, a[an] undergraduate of the Beijing University, who sell[sells] facial masks in the taobao.com[建議稍作解釋（e-commerce platform of Taobao)], because of the good service and excellent occupation[operation], he has gained a big profit and has his own company. Therefore, students should follow their heart, choose careers they are interested in and then achieve it with diligence.[點(diǎn)贊，寫的很好]

評分：13分/20 （詞匯量很豐富，邏輯也很清晰。語法還有進(jìn)一步提高的空間，避免低級錯誤）

Dear Mr. President,
I am an undergraduate student majoring in automation of our university. I am writing this letter to propose how to improve students' physical condition.
First,exercise ,such as playing basketball,swimming and so forth,is necessary for college student to make us（前面既然提到了college student這里再說us就重復(fù)了，建議將make us改為become） stronger and more energetic.This outweighs all other considerations（這個地方other considerations建議稍微說一下，不然評卷者不知所云）. Second,sufficient sleep is indispensable for college student.（此處建議說一下充足睡眠的好處，使建議更有力度）
I would like to express my appreciation for your consideration of my proposal and I hope that will be useful to you（標(biāo)黃部分可以刪除，文末表達(dá)你對校長考慮建議的感謝就夠了，不需多言）.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
得分：6
評語：文章的分析不夠深入，只是提了兩點(diǎn)建議，而沒有說明為什么提這兩點(diǎn)建議（即鍛煉和充足睡眠有什么好處，為什么提這兩點(diǎn)而不是其他等等），建議仔細(xì)研究黃寶書上的范文，并背誦幾篇，對寫作有所助益。

評價(jià)：該同學(xué)一開始發(fā)送修改的小作文時，寫的內(nèi)容比較空翻，不具體，應(yīng)該是在思路上還未把握住，訓(xùn)練幾篇之后，尤其是11月4日發(fā)來的小作文，在寫作上基本達(dá)到了題目的要求，讀的時候讓老師覺得言簡意賅，很不錯，老師給了7分。